Industrialized Cyclist Notepad


Candidates argue over who can burn more oil, gas and coal and bail out more failed industries

From the official transcript of last night’s town hall-style debate.

R: President Obama’s policies have strangled oil production in this country! When I’m President I will OPEN THE FREAKING SPIGOTS.

O: The opening of spigots is an idea we developed in my administration, Governor. We are going to produce and burn more oil than you ever thought possible, then we are going to burn some more. I guarantee it.

R: When I am President we will literally be swimming in oil, gas and coal.

O: Obama starts with O and that stands for OIL!!

R: Admit that you hate oil. Admit that you hate gas.

O: I LOVE OIL. I LOVE COAL. I LOVE GAS.

[Both men start jumping up and down, waving their arms like bonobos.]

R: I AM #!*$# CRAZY FOR OIL, GAS AND COAL!!

O: HiYEEEAARRRGGGHHH!! OOOOOIIILLLLLLL!!!

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